Depression is...
bursting into tears at a stoplight
walking the mall to not be alone
eating by oneself
waking up with a heavy heart, a lump in your throat, and tears in your eyes
listening to the saddest lyrics
isolating
eating nothing
eating everything
falling apart at your desk
waiting...waiting...waiting...
saying, "I can't tonight..."
knowing your logic is skewed
overwhelming
pretending to be okay
lying to cover your weakness
creating stories
lacking self-worth
seeking any second of happiness
dripping with dejection
paralyzing over-analyzing
being afraid all of the time
hoping for fatal turbulence
wishing the Mayans were right
praying for sleep to come
dreaming in nightmares
awaking suddenly at 4 in the morning
crying yourself to sleep
swelling eye lids and tear ducts
silencing
consuming
attempting to manage
finding a new normal
dissolving connections
needing to fall asleep with the TV on
sleeping on top of the covers
preserving a scent
thinking obsessively
drowning in sadness on a sunny day
ignoring phone calls
falling into the bell jar
fearing the return of melancholia
losing your words
asking unanswered questions
attempting to forget
lacking anything to look forward to
aching heartbreak
knowing many, but not being able to call any of them
leaving mid-party
giving up
searching for hope
searching for hopelessness
realizing six months post- is no better
longing to be included
