Grandpa Tom

Thomas Reed Stoppenbach | July 17, 1923 to December 8, 2013

• The first time I head the song "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank Sinatra & Nancy Sinatra I was sitting in my grandpa's room with him at his house. This song came on the TV and he started singing along. It always makes me think of him. 
• Grandpa was a WWII veteran. He glided into Holland and was captured. He was transported in a boxcar to a prison camp and held there for seven months during which time he kept a journal. 
• My grandpa was a carpenter by hobby. He made many things for me including bookcases, a desk, a swing, a nativity set, and a hope chest. 
• Although this occurred before my time, Grandpa was a teacher too.
• Grandpa loved the Cubs. Family pictures show me sporting a Cubs hat by fourth grade. I thought sports were absolutely boring, but I liked to sit with Grandpa in his room while he watched the game on TV and listened to the broadcast on his headphones. His favorite phrase during these occasions was "God damn it".
• Although it was okay for Grandpa to cuss out the Cubs, he frowned upon swearing in general. Once, I used the f-word (the one and only time I swore in front of him) after I was stung by a bee, which was so severe I had to go to the ER for a shot. As I was crying in agony, Grandpa scolded me for using such awful language. "Don't worry, Grandpa...I'm fiiiine!"
• Humming. Grandpa was always humming something, especially while he worked. He was like one of the Seven Dwarfs. 
• Grandpa loved to read. He could sit and read for hours at a time like I can. 
• Grandpa was very old-fashioned. After reading a biography about Clint Eastwood he expressed how didn't care for Eastwood anymore after learning of his womanizing ways. And he didn't like to read books that were too racy either... :)
• Whenever Grandpa kissed me on the cheek, he made this loud smacking sound with his lips. 
• I hung out in Grandpa's bedroom--which was also like his living room--a lot when I was a kid. I always wanted to know what he was watching, or listening to, or reading, or tinkering with...
• Grandpa enjoyed having breakfast at a dirty-spoon diner. He often walked to these locales and when I still lived in Watertown I occasionally would see him on his walks. After I graduated from college and before I moved to Arizona, I was a waitress at the Rose Garden Cafe, which Grandpa frequented nearly every day for his poached eggs. 
• Grandpa usually spelled my name with a C and signed his letters "Uncle Tom". Even so, I always appreciated the thought.
• He was very generous. He sent many-a Christmas check and helped me make up the difference in my tuition one semester. 
• Grandpa liked old movies and music. I watched (or, sat through) many old flicks with Grandpa when I was little.
• Grandpa had a hideous green chair that sat in the living room of my grandparents' house. This is where he read the paper and watched the nightly news. I often sat in his chair and pretended to be him.
• Grandpa loved food. When he ate apples, he ate the whole thing--core and all. He also loved angel-food cake and strawberries.
• Grandpa tricked me with the usual pranks: opting for a nickel over a dime because of the size difference and convincing me that eating watermelon seeds would make watermelons grow in your belly.
• When he still lived in his house, Grandpa puttered around in the basement from morning until supper. He had a "wood shop" down there and he'd fix things, and make things, and break things...
• Grandpa liked to travel and he liked to drive everywhere. When I was very young I took many day-trips with him around Wisconsin. 
• I was sort-of a nuisance as a kid and I often pestered my grandpa. In addition to the multitude of "What's this?" and "What's this do?" questions while he was working, I also played a lot of tricks on him. One time I hid behind his chair and waited until he sat down and then I attached alligator clips to his ears. (That didn't go over well, and I never did it again!)
• One of my favorite memories of Grandpa was in January of this year. I was home and he was ill. I was leaving and it was a hard time in both our lives. I said, "I love you so much, Grandpa" and he responded "Not as much as I love you."

  

  Cousin Ryan, me, Grandma, and Grandpa 2005

  
  

  

  Grandpa's Birthday at Uncle Dan's house

  
  

  

  I'm pretty sure Grandpa kept these gifts for 25 years...

  
  

  

  Christmas with Grandpa & Uncle Dan.
  Apparently it was an ugly sweater contest for me.

  
  

  

  Eating grapes and reading the paper, like Grandpa

  
  

  

  Dan, Grandpa, and me on Grandpa's 89th Birthday

  
  

  

  Grandpa with his signed Fergie Jenkins's book

  
  

  

  Another birthday of Grandpa's

  
  

  

  Grandma, Mom, me-with-Cubs-hat and Charlie, and Grandpa

  
  

  

  Reading the inscription on Grandpa's Fergie Jenkins's book

  
  

  

  Grandpa and Uncle Dan

  
  

  

  January 2013

  
  

  

  July 17, 2013 ~ Grandpa's 90th Birthday

Favorite Quotes

"Words can be so heavy." M. Zusak

One of my favorite books is I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak (see Books That Made Me Cry). Beautifully written, heartbreaking and heartwarming. Words can make or break you.

"Everything affects everything." J. Asher

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher is another favorite. The central character of the book writes a letter to all those who influenced her suicide. While the story is a work of fiction, this quote is so true. Even the simplest words and actions can have a rippling effect.

"Happiness is only real, when shared." Into the Wild

Read any self-help book or talk to any therapist and they'll say "You need to make yourself happy first before you can be happy with anyone else." I think that's a bit misleading. True, you have to "find yourself" and figure out who you are, etc, etc, but can sheer happiness exist if you're not experiencing it with others?

"Let me tell you, I know you don't want to listen to your father, I didn't listen to mine, and I am telling you, you gotta pay attention this time. When life reaches out with a woman like this, it's a sin if you don't reach back; I'm telling you, it's a sin if you don't reach back! It'll haunt you the rest of your days like a curse. You're facing a big challenge in your life right now at this very moment, right here. That girl loves you; she really, really loves you. I don't know if Nikki ever did, but she sure as shit doesn't right now. So don't fuck this up." Pat Sr. to Pat Jr., Silver Linings Playbook

Sometimes you just need someone who loves you to tell you you're acting like an idiot. Great movie, great line.

"If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don't want to cry anymore, you don't listen to that song anymore. But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head." J. Asher

Another brilliant line from Thirteen Reasons Why. It's actually not that brilliant; it's a commonsense way of explaining the hurt to someone who just doesn't "get it".

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

I have this quote posted in several places in my classroom. My kids love it because it reminds them they're all intelligent in their own right.

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." Peter McWilliams

I discovered this quote after a breakup, and despite the hurt I felt, it reminded me that I was brave.

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." Anonymous

This quote has a special meaning for me. I posted it shortly after meeting R. I had felt like the caterpillar for so long, and suddenly I was the butterfly.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." Lord Byron

I've poured my heart into a journal of some sort since the 7th grade.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them." J. Picoult

It can be far easier to isolate one's self...but then "happiness is only real when shared".

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." Tom Robbins

Yes, yes, yes, yes....

"If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." J. M. Barrie

Ain't it the truth.

Favorite Shortems

The Rose that Grew from Concrete 

by Tupac Shakur

Did you hear about the rose that grew

from a crack in the concrete?

Proving nature's law is wrong it

learned to walk without having feet.

Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams,

it learned to breathe fresh air.

Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no on else ever cared.

A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

(untitled) by Frederick Peterson

The sweetest flower that blows,

I give you as we part.

For you it is a rose,

For me it is my heart.

You're Gone (author unknown)

How do I feel,

people ask.

How do I feel?

That's the problem.

I don't.

(untitled) by Ric Masten

put me in your human eye

come taste

the bitter tears

that i cry

touch me

with your human hand

hear me with your ear

but notice me

damn you

notice me

i'm here.

(untitled) by Javan

If you can just turn

and walk away

And feel there's nothing more

You need to say

And you do not feel a tearing

In your heart

If you can so easily

forget about me

And all the things

I tried to be

Then I guess there was really no

reason for you to stay

(untitled) by Langston Hughes

I loved my friend.

He went away from me.

There's nothing more to say.

The poem ends, 

soft as it began--

I loved my friend.

This Week (So Far) in Five

This has been a very emotional week so far, and it doesn't appear as if it'll let-up anytime soon. "My Day in Five" is supposed to be just a list of words or short phrases describing one's day, but more words are needed here. 

1. My sister's boyfriend, Blake, is facing a significant challenge in his fight with cancer. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in January 2012 and has dealt with numerous surgeries, chemo, and radiation treatments. He frequently travels from Illinois to Houston, Texas, for his doctor appointments and treatments. His checkup in Houston on Monday did not give him the hopeful and positive news we all wanted to hear. Please say a prayer for him. Think positive thoughts. Share your good, healing energy. To support Blake's fight financially, you can purchase a survival strap or key fob online: Team Blake.
2. Also learned on Monday that Allie, my childhood babysitter's husband, passed away. I've known him since I was a very little girl and he was like another grandpa to me. He and his wife, Stella, were a wonderful couple. I feel terrible that she has lost the love of her life.
3. My brother, Dan, left today. It's quiet. And nothing seems funny anymore. I miss him...
4. My sister, Sarah, left today. I worry about her. I admire her. I wish I could hug her...
5. Grandpa's 90th birthday is today. Wish I could've seen him open his gifts (Cubs socks, T-shirt, and book, Calico Joe).

 

Must-See Concerts

I love concerts. Really. The loud music vibrating through to your soul...it's awesome. When I was a kid and  looked at footage of Beatles' concerts, I always wondered why the girls were crying. So silly and dramatic... But I get it now. Being at a concert just makes me feel everything on a grander scale; I feel so...alive! I'm looking forward to seeing these shows. And people--I need concert friends! Where are you?!

Outside Lands Festival ~ August 9-11

My first trip to San Francisco! So many amazing bands to see over the 3-day weekend: The National, Band of Horses, Daughter, NIN, The Head and the Heart, Matt & Kim, and Little Green Cars.
Update: Awesome-sauce! NIN gave one of the best concerts of the weekend (visually). THATH & LGC were my favorites though (emotionally-driven music). 

Neko Case ~ September 12

Tickets are $36 max. Good deal for such a cool artist. She's playing at the Orpheum with Pickwick & Jon Rauhouse.
Update: I couldn't make this show. :( Wanted to, but my two-week absence the preceding weeks didn't allow me the time or money. Instead, I saw Johnny Cupcakes at South Mountain Community College--for free after winning VIP tickets. JC was inspiring. Not so impressed with SMCC. You'd think with VIP tickets they'd at least be sure we got to shake the man's hand and move us to the front of the line for autographs. There were only 25 of us for Pete's sake!

OneRepublic ~ September 15

I'm loving the majority of their new album, Native. Tickets max-out at $60 and they're playing with Churchill and Sara Bareilles at Comerica.
Update: Uuuuuuuugh. REALLY wanted to see this band. LOVE their new album Native. Again, my two-week absence earlier this month required that I spend a weekend at home grading, and also guaranteed that I had no money outside of everyday living expenses. Sucks.

The Lumineers ~ October 1

Also playing at Comerica. Opening acts aren't any I know (Dr. Dog? Nathaniel Rateliff?) and tickets are about $50, but I missed The Lumineers when they were here last year.

The Avett Brothers ~ October 5

$35 for this concert at Mesa Amp. Love the song "I and Love and You".

City and Colour ~ October 11

My friend Erin introduced me to this band after we saw The Boxer Rebellion. New album, The Hurry and the Harm, is good stuff. Tickets are $30.

The Mowgli's ~ October 15

This band is my new favorite thing! I love every song on Waiting for the Dawn. Tickets are only $20 and it's at the Rialto in Tucson. Road trip!

Pearl Jam ~ November 19

I was supposed to see Pearl Jam this month 18 years ago...boy broke my heart and sold my ticket. I tried to win tickets to the July 19th show at Wrigley Field (!!!)...didn't happen. This show? GOING.
Update: Tickets purchased! Can't wait to see Eddie (*swoon* *I hope his hair grows out again by November*) and company with Becky and Jorge.

Firsts

I've accomplished a lot of "firsts" lately. Here's a list of my "first times" in the last five-ish months.

Pineapple Ukulele

• Made a batch of egg salad. Mmmm...tasty.
• Kayaked! I went by myself (well, just me and the tour guide) while vacationing on Coronado Island and I loved it. The tour guide said I was a "natural"... I bet you say that to all the girls...
• Bought a ukulele. No joke. Spent about $70 (so this isn't one you find in the toy aisle). My students, Audrey and Ana, were totally jazzed that I finally had one, so every Friday during AP we had a jam session. (Jam session = teach Ms. S how to play chords) Still reading Ukulele for Dummies. 
• Dined at Postino's with good friends Emily and Erin. Oh. Yum.
• Met new a new friend through a support group.
• Rented a beach cruiser for two days while staying on Coronado Island. I loved riding my bike everywhere! Nicknamed the basket full of my beach goods "Toto".

Beach Cruisers

• Drove a moped. My sister and brother both have one...and now I want one too!
• Regularly go to the movies...by myself. This can be good, especially if you're feeling like you want to be around people, but you don't necessarily want to talk to them and, in fact, prefer an atmosphere where talking is frowned upon. It also sucks if you want to discuss the movie with someone, because strangers think you're weird if you try to have a 20-minute conversation with them trying to dissect the symbolism.
• Buying flowers--for me! "So, you plant your own garden / and decorate your own soul, / Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." V A Shoffstall  

  

  Flowers for ME!

My Day in Five Part II

green
tears
Now
nap
egg salad

My Day in Five

I own two Listography journals. You'd think it'd be impossible to run out of list ideas for my blog. And I haven't reached the end of ideas yet, but I needed some fresh list topics. (The ones I have are often too personal to publish or too exhausting to complete.) So, I found this one:  Write 5 things - names, places, emotions, thoughts, a film title, song title, band - anything that sums up your day. Do it each day for a year. Five things? Well, that's easy enough. Every day for a year? Well, probably not. But I'm definitely making it my go-to plan when I've hit writer's block. 

So, folks, here's my day in 5:

movie
mindless meeting
fish tacos
Flagstaff
fractured

A Funny Thing Happened on Coronado Island...

• Me (points to small, dark house): "I would even live in that one."  Megan: "What? It looks like a hobbit house." [Truth be told, I want to live at the Del!]

• The guy we rented bikes from at Little Sam's told us not to ride on the sidewalks, since the cops really crack down on that considering the island is so safe and they have nothing better to do. That night at Peohe's restaurant, cops swarmed the dock outside our window and handcuffed two people with guns drawn. 

• Megan (reading sign at Lil' Piggy's Bar-B-Q): "'Please don't feed the birds.' Well, clearly someone did."

• Me (to random older guy): "Can you do me a favor?" Guy: "Sure! I mean...well, that depends what it is..."

• Me (to elementary kid looking into the bay): "See any whales yet?"

• First kayaking experience! By myself! And the tour guide! For two hours! Luckily, he was really interesting to talk to. :)

• Me (reading sign): "'The Little Club.' That IS a little club..."

• Random older guy walking on sidewalk shouted: "WOW! GORGEOUS EYES!" Well, thank you!

• Megan: "I want to have a destination wedding." Me: "I want to have A wedding."

Movies to Be Seen

The Way, Way Back

Looks like a hilarious coming-of-age film to follow up my love for The Kings of Summer. Definitely taking the sibs to see this while they're here in July. The Way, Way Back opens July 5th.

Despicable Me 2

Yesssss! I loved the first one and can't wait for the sequel Despicable Me 2 to open July 3rd.

Fruitvale Station

The story of Oscar Grant and NYE 2008 comes out July 12th. A Sundance fave, can't wait to see Fruitvale Station.

Salinger

I suppose I'll have to cave and finally finish The Catcher in the Rye. Salinger looks good; the documentary opens September 6th.

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

Casey Affleck's eyes can make me melt, and this film looks like a heartbreaker. Ain't Them Bodies Saints opens August 16th.

About Time

McAdams is fabulous, and Gleeson seems like a lovable geek in the love story About Time. And they have excellent choice in music for the trailer. Opens November 1st.