2016 Highlights

January

Matt and I decided to move in together. 💓

February  

Crazy busy with yearbook. 😝

March

Matt turned 36. I went to spring training games with Matt, Grant and Daniel, and Suzanne and Susie. Pam and I dyed eggs for our 6th Eggstravaganza. Also went to the Tucson Festival of Books with Mary.

April

Matt & I moved in together. We also saw Third Eye Blind at The Orpheum in Flagstaff.

May

Finished my 9th year of teaching!

June

Went yurting with Annette, Katie, Ashley, and Mara in Flagstaff. Matt and I went to Coronado Island.

July

Matt finished the bookshelves and we binged on Stranger Things.

August

Mom and Sarah finally moved to AZ! The Gerth clan (Tina, Grandma, Karla, Ginger, Jamie, Ashley) visited Arizona.

September

I turned 39 and Lou turned 4 on the same day. The next day, I had surgery.

October

I spent the month on medical leave and watched a LOT of baseball!

November

THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!

December

Matt & I had a white Christmas in Flagstaff. 

2015 Highlights

January

Took a yoga class for the first time. I loved it.

February  

My cousin, Beth, and my mom made visits to Arizona.

March

Went with Grant (and this year Daniel too) to our annual spring training game of Brewers vs. Cubs. Got caught up in March Madness...the Badgers were so close.

April

Started volunteer work with PAWS out of Petco, taking care of all the cats available for adoption.

May

Saw U2 with Matt and dyed my hair blue.

June

Sarah visited Arizona and I went back to Quincy for two weeks.

July

Gwen and I went to Coronado Island, saw Third Eye Blind for the first time ever with Matt, and saw Imagine Dragons with Daniel

August

The Gerth clan (Tina, Grandma, Karla, Jamie, Ashley, Sammy, Gwen) visited Arizona

September

Turned 38 and celebrated by adopting Lucifer Poe (Lou) from Lexi

October

Mom visited again. Painted my first canvas ("Wicked") with Sarah at Uptown Art.

November

Traveled to Orlando with the newspaper kids. Daniel and I had our 2nd annual BroSis Thanksgiving.

December

First year I've ever sent out Christmas cards. Read a lot of books. Binge-watched The Newsroom.

My Bell Jar

I wrote this a couple of years ago over the course of several weeks. At the time, I was battling a suffocating depression that engulfed my entire being.  And it lasted for months. A year. Then two. Today, I am better. Not great. But I am okay.

Depression is...

bursting into tears at a stoplight

walking the mall to not be alone

eating by oneself 

waking up with a heavy heart, a lump in your throat, and tears in your eyes

listening to the saddest lyrics

isolating

eating nothing

eating everything

falling apart at your desk

waiting...waiting...waiting...

saying, "I can't tonight..."

knowing your logic is skewed

overwhelming

pretending to be okay

lying to cover your weakness

creating stories

lacking self-worth

seeking any second of happiness

dripping with dejection

paralyzing over-analyzing 

being afraid all of the time

hoping for fatal turbulence

wishing the Mayans were right

praying for sleep to come

dreaming in nightmares

awaking suddenly at 4 in the morning

crying yourself to sleep

swelling eye lids and tear ducts

silencing

consuming

attempting to manage

finding a new normal

dissolving connections

needing to fall asleep with the TV on

sleeping on top of the covers

preserving a scent

thinking obsessively

drowning in sadness on a sunny day

ignoring phone calls

falling into the bell jar

fearing the return of melancholia 

losing your words

asking unanswered questions

attempting to forget

lacking anything to look forward to

aching heartbreak

knowing many, but not being able to call any of them

leaving mid-party

giving up

searching for hope

searching for hopelessness

realizing six months post- is no better

longing to be included

Grandpa Tom

Thomas Reed Stoppenbach | July 17, 1923 to December 8, 2013

• The first time I head the song "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank Sinatra & Nancy Sinatra I was sitting in my grandpa's room with him at his house. This song came on the TV and he started singing along. It always makes me think of him. 
• Grandpa was a WWII veteran. He glided into Holland and was captured. He was transported in a boxcar to a prison camp and held there for seven months during which time he kept a journal. 
• My grandpa was a carpenter by hobby. He made many things for me including bookcases, a desk, a swing, a nativity set, and a hope chest. 
• Although this occurred before my time, Grandpa was a teacher too.
• Grandpa loved the Cubs. Family pictures show me sporting a Cubs hat by fourth grade. I thought sports were absolutely boring, but I liked to sit with Grandpa in his room while he watched the game on TV and listened to the broadcast on his headphones. His favorite phrase during these occasions was "God damn it".
• Although it was okay for Grandpa to cuss out the Cubs, he frowned upon swearing in general. Once, I used the f-word (the one and only time I swore in front of him) after I was stung by a bee, which was so severe I had to go to the ER for a shot. As I was crying in agony, Grandpa scolded me for using such awful language. "Don't worry, Grandpa...I'm fiiiine!"
• Humming. Grandpa was always humming something, especially while he worked. He was like one of the Seven Dwarfs. 
• Grandpa loved to read. He could sit and read for hours at a time like I can. 
• Grandpa was very old-fashioned. After reading a biography about Clint Eastwood he expressed how didn't care for Eastwood anymore after learning of his womanizing ways. And he didn't like to read books that were too racy either... :)
• Whenever Grandpa kissed me on the cheek, he made this loud smacking sound with his lips. 
• I hung out in Grandpa's bedroom--which was also like his living room--a lot when I was a kid. I always wanted to know what he was watching, or listening to, or reading, or tinkering with...
• Grandpa enjoyed having breakfast at a dirty-spoon diner. He often walked to these locales and when I still lived in Watertown I occasionally would see him on his walks. After I graduated from college and before I moved to Arizona, I was a waitress at the Rose Garden Cafe, which Grandpa frequented nearly every day for his poached eggs. 
• Grandpa usually spelled my name with a C and signed his letters "Uncle Tom". Even so, I always appreciated the thought.
• He was very generous. He sent many-a Christmas check and helped me make up the difference in my tuition one semester. 
• Grandpa liked old movies and music. I watched (or, sat through) many old flicks with Grandpa when I was little.
• Grandpa had a hideous green chair that sat in the living room of my grandparents' house. This is where he read the paper and watched the nightly news. I often sat in his chair and pretended to be him.
• Grandpa loved food. When he ate apples, he ate the whole thing--core and all. He also loved angel-food cake and strawberries.
• Grandpa tricked me with the usual pranks: opting for a nickel over a dime because of the size difference and convincing me that eating watermelon seeds would make watermelons grow in your belly.
• When he still lived in his house, Grandpa puttered around in the basement from morning until supper. He had a "wood shop" down there and he'd fix things, and make things, and break things...
• Grandpa liked to travel and he liked to drive everywhere. When I was very young I took many day-trips with him around Wisconsin. 
• I was sort-of a nuisance as a kid and I often pestered my grandpa. In addition to the multitude of "What's this?" and "What's this do?" questions while he was working, I also played a lot of tricks on him. One time I hid behind his chair and waited until he sat down and then I attached alligator clips to his ears. (That didn't go over well, and I never did it again!)
• One of my favorite memories of Grandpa was in January of this year. I was home and he was ill. I was leaving and it was a hard time in both our lives. I said, "I love you so much, Grandpa" and he responded "Not as much as I love you."

  

  Cousin Ryan, me, Grandma, and Grandpa 2005

  
  

  

  Grandpa's Birthday at Uncle Dan's house

  
  

  

  I'm pretty sure Grandpa kept these gifts for 25 years...

  
  

  

  Christmas with Grandpa & Uncle Dan.
  Apparently it was an ugly sweater contest for me.

  
  

  

  Eating grapes and reading the paper, like Grandpa

  
  

  

  Dan, Grandpa, and me on Grandpa's 89th Birthday

  
  

  

  Grandpa with his signed Fergie Jenkins's book

  
  

  

  Another birthday of Grandpa's

  
  

  

  Grandma, Mom, me-with-Cubs-hat and Charlie, and Grandpa

  
  

  

  Reading the inscription on Grandpa's Fergie Jenkins's book

  
  

  

  Grandpa and Uncle Dan

  
  

  

  January 2013

  
  

  

  July 17, 2013 ~ Grandpa's 90th Birthday

Favorite Quotes

"Words can be so heavy." M. Zusak

One of my favorite books is I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak (see Books That Made Me Cry). Beautifully written, heartbreaking and heartwarming. Words can make or break you.

"Everything affects everything." J. Asher

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher is another favorite. The central character of the book writes a letter to all those who influenced her suicide. While the story is a work of fiction, this quote is so true. Even the simplest words and actions can have a rippling effect.

"Happiness is only real, when shared." Into the Wild

Read any self-help book or talk to any therapist and they'll say "You need to make yourself happy first before you can be happy with anyone else." I think that's a bit misleading. True, you have to "find yourself" and figure out who you are, etc, etc, but can sheer happiness exist if you're not experiencing it with others?

"Let me tell you, I know you don't want to listen to your father, I didn't listen to mine, and I am telling you, you gotta pay attention this time. When life reaches out with a woman like this, it's a sin if you don't reach back; I'm telling you, it's a sin if you don't reach back! It'll haunt you the rest of your days like a curse. You're facing a big challenge in your life right now at this very moment, right here. That girl loves you; she really, really loves you. I don't know if Nikki ever did, but she sure as shit doesn't right now. So don't fuck this up." Pat Sr. to Pat Jr., Silver Linings Playbook

Sometimes you just need someone who loves you to tell you you're acting like an idiot. Great movie, great line.

"If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don't want to cry anymore, you don't listen to that song anymore. But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head." J. Asher

Another brilliant line from Thirteen Reasons Why. It's actually not that brilliant; it's a commonsense way of explaining the hurt to someone who just doesn't "get it".

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

I have this quote posted in several places in my classroom. My kids love it because it reminds them they're all intelligent in their own right.

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." Peter McWilliams

I discovered this quote after a breakup, and despite the hurt I felt, it reminded me that I was brave.

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." Anonymous

This quote has a special meaning for me. I posted it shortly after meeting R. I had felt like the caterpillar for so long, and suddenly I was the butterfly.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." Lord Byron

I've poured my heart into a journal of some sort since the 7th grade.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them." J. Picoult

It can be far easier to isolate one's self...but then "happiness is only real when shared".

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." Tom Robbins

Yes, yes, yes, yes....

"If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have." J. M. Barrie

Ain't it the truth.

Favorite Shortems

The Rose that Grew from Concrete 

by Tupac Shakur

Did you hear about the rose that grew

from a crack in the concrete?

Proving nature's law is wrong it

learned to walk without having feet.

Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams,

it learned to breathe fresh air.

Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no on else ever cared.

A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

(untitled) by Frederick Peterson

The sweetest flower that blows,

I give you as we part.

For you it is a rose,

For me it is my heart.

You're Gone (author unknown)

How do I feel,

people ask.

How do I feel?

That's the problem.

I don't.

(untitled) by Ric Masten

put me in your human eye

come taste

the bitter tears

that i cry

touch me

with your human hand

hear me with your ear

but notice me

damn you

notice me

i'm here.

(untitled) by Javan

If you can just turn

and walk away

And feel there's nothing more

You need to say

And you do not feel a tearing

In your heart

If you can so easily

forget about me

And all the things

I tried to be

Then I guess there was really no

reason for you to stay

(untitled) by Langston Hughes

I loved my friend.

He went away from me.

There's nothing more to say.

The poem ends, 

soft as it began--

I loved my friend.

This Week (So Far) in Five

This has been a very emotional week so far, and it doesn't appear as if it'll let-up anytime soon. "My Day in Five" is supposed to be just a list of words or short phrases describing one's day, but more words are needed here. 

1. My sister's boyfriend, Blake, is facing a significant challenge in his fight with cancer. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in January 2012 and has dealt with numerous surgeries, chemo, and radiation treatments. He frequently travels from Illinois to Houston, Texas, for his doctor appointments and treatments. His checkup in Houston on Monday did not give him the hopeful and positive news we all wanted to hear. Please say a prayer for him. Think positive thoughts. Share your good, healing energy. To support Blake's fight financially, you can purchase a survival strap or key fob online: Team Blake.
2. Also learned on Monday that Allie, my childhood babysitter's husband, passed away. I've known him since I was a very little girl and he was like another grandpa to me. He and his wife, Stella, were a wonderful couple. I feel terrible that she has lost the love of her life.
3. My brother, Dan, left today. It's quiet. And nothing seems funny anymore. I miss him...
4. My sister, Sarah, left today. I worry about her. I admire her. I wish I could hug her...
5. Grandpa's 90th birthday is today. Wish I could've seen him open his gifts (Cubs socks, T-shirt, and book, Calico Joe).

 

Must-See Concerts

I love concerts. Really. The loud music vibrating through to your soul...it's awesome. When I was a kid and  looked at footage of Beatles' concerts, I always wondered why the girls were crying. So silly and dramatic... But I get it now. Being at a concert just makes me feel everything on a grander scale; I feel so...alive! I'm looking forward to seeing these shows. And people--I need concert friends! Where are you?!

Outside Lands Festival ~ August 9-11

My first trip to San Francisco! So many amazing bands to see over the 3-day weekend: The National, Band of Horses, Daughter, NIN, The Head and the Heart, Matt & Kim, and Little Green Cars.
Update: Awesome-sauce! NIN gave one of the best concerts of the weekend (visually). THATH & LGC were my favorites though (emotionally-driven music). 

Neko Case ~ September 12

Tickets are $36 max. Good deal for such a cool artist. She's playing at the Orpheum with Pickwick & Jon Rauhouse.
Update: I couldn't make this show. :( Wanted to, but my two-week absence the preceding weeks didn't allow me the time or money. Instead, I saw Johnny Cupcakes at South Mountain Community College--for free after winning VIP tickets. JC was inspiring. Not so impressed with SMCC. You'd think with VIP tickets they'd at least be sure we got to shake the man's hand and move us to the front of the line for autographs. There were only 25 of us for Pete's sake!

OneRepublic ~ September 15

I'm loving the majority of their new album, Native. Tickets max-out at $60 and they're playing with Churchill and Sara Bareilles at Comerica.
Update: Uuuuuuuugh. REALLY wanted to see this band. LOVE their new album Native. Again, my two-week absence earlier this month required that I spend a weekend at home grading, and also guaranteed that I had no money outside of everyday living expenses. Sucks.

The Lumineers ~ October 1

Also playing at Comerica. Opening acts aren't any I know (Dr. Dog? Nathaniel Rateliff?) and tickets are about $50, but I missed The Lumineers when they were here last year.

The Avett Brothers ~ October 5

$35 for this concert at Mesa Amp. Love the song "I and Love and You".

City and Colour ~ October 11

My friend Erin introduced me to this band after we saw The Boxer Rebellion. New album, The Hurry and the Harm, is good stuff. Tickets are $30.

The Mowgli's ~ October 15

This band is my new favorite thing! I love every song on Waiting for the Dawn. Tickets are only $20 and it's at the Rialto in Tucson. Road trip!

Pearl Jam ~ November 19

I was supposed to see Pearl Jam this month 18 years ago...boy broke my heart and sold my ticket. I tried to win tickets to the July 19th show at Wrigley Field (!!!)...didn't happen. This show? GOING.
Update: Tickets purchased! Can't wait to see Eddie (*swoon* *I hope his hair grows out again by November*) and company with Becky and Jorge.

Firsts

I've accomplished a lot of "firsts" lately. Here's a list of my "first times" in the last five-ish months.

Pineapple Ukulele

• Made a batch of egg salad. Mmmm...tasty.
• Kayaked! I went by myself (well, just me and the tour guide) while vacationing on Coronado Island and I loved it. The tour guide said I was a "natural"... I bet you say that to all the girls...
• Bought a ukulele. No joke. Spent about $70 (so this isn't one you find in the toy aisle). My students, Audrey and Ana, were totally jazzed that I finally had one, so every Friday during AP we had a jam session. (Jam session = teach Ms. S how to play chords) Still reading Ukulele for Dummies. 
• Dined at Postino's with good friends Emily and Erin. Oh. Yum.
• Met new a new friend through a support group.
• Rented a beach cruiser for two days while staying on Coronado Island. I loved riding my bike everywhere! Nicknamed the basket full of my beach goods "Toto".

Beach Cruisers

• Drove a moped. My sister and brother both have one...and now I want one too!
• Regularly go to the movies...by myself. This can be good, especially if you're feeling like you want to be around people, but you don't necessarily want to talk to them and, in fact, prefer an atmosphere where talking is frowned upon. It also sucks if you want to discuss the movie with someone, because strangers think you're weird if you try to have a 20-minute conversation with them trying to dissect the symbolism.
• Buying flowers--for me! "So, you plant your own garden / and decorate your own soul, / Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." V A Shoffstall  

  

  Flowers for ME!

My Day in Five Part II

green
tears
Now
nap
egg salad

My Day in Five

I own two Listography journals. You'd think it'd be impossible to run out of list ideas for my blog. And I haven't reached the end of ideas yet, but I needed some fresh list topics. (The ones I have are often too personal to publish or too exhausting to complete.) So, I found this one:  Write 5 things - names, places, emotions, thoughts, a film title, song title, band - anything that sums up your day. Do it each day for a year. Five things? Well, that's easy enough. Every day for a year? Well, probably not. But I'm definitely making it my go-to plan when I've hit writer's block. 

So, folks, here's my day in 5:

movie
mindless meeting
fish tacos
Flagstaff
fractured

A Funny Thing Happened on Coronado Island...

• Me (points to small, dark house): "I would even live in that one."  Megan: "What? It looks like a hobbit house." [Truth be told, I want to live at the Del!]

• The guy we rented bikes from at Little Sam's told us not to ride on the sidewalks, since the cops really crack down on that considering the island is so safe and they have nothing better to do. That night at Peohe's restaurant, cops swarmed the dock outside our window and handcuffed two people with guns drawn. 

• Megan (reading sign at Lil' Piggy's Bar-B-Q): "'Please don't feed the birds.' Well, clearly someone did."

• Me (to random older guy): "Can you do me a favor?" Guy: "Sure! I mean...well, that depends what it is..."

• Me (to elementary kid looking into the bay): "See any whales yet?"

• First kayaking experience! By myself! And the tour guide! For two hours! Luckily, he was really interesting to talk to. :)

• Me (reading sign): "'The Little Club.' That IS a little club..."

• Random older guy walking on sidewalk shouted: "WOW! GORGEOUS EYES!" Well, thank you!

• Megan: "I want to have a destination wedding." Me: "I want to have A wedding."

Movies to Be Seen

The Way, Way Back

Looks like a hilarious coming-of-age film to follow up my love for The Kings of Summer. Definitely taking the sibs to see this while they're here in July. The Way, Way Back opens July 5th.

Despicable Me 2

Yesssss! I loved the first one and can't wait for the sequel Despicable Me 2 to open July 3rd.

Fruitvale Station

The story of Oscar Grant and NYE 2008 comes out July 12th. A Sundance fave, can't wait to see Fruitvale Station.

Salinger

I suppose I'll have to cave and finally finish The Catcher in the Rye. Salinger looks good; the documentary opens September 6th.

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

Casey Affleck's eyes can make me melt, and this film looks like a heartbreaker. Ain't Them Bodies Saints opens August 16th.

About Time

McAdams is fabulous, and Gleeson seems like a lovable geek in the love story About Time. And they have excellent choice in music for the trailer. Opens November 1st.

30 Days of Thanks

I accepted a challenge: post a status of "thanks" for one thing in my life every day for the entire month of November. (In case you haven't noticed from the lack of blogging between January 2011 and today, I tend to slack on long-term writing commitments.) But, 'tis the season for miracles, and....I DID IT! Just never mind the fact that Days 28-30 were posted December 2nd.

Day 1
I'm thankful for my awesome Bully Busters crew who participated in the 3K Unite Against Bullying and won the prize for most team members! Shout outs to Cara, Chrissy, Colleen, Kerry, MaDonna, and Tamaron who were great sports and donned fairy wings!


Day 2
I'm so grateful for the students who take the time to say "thank you", give you a hug, or let you know you made a difference in some way. It always comes out of the blue, and it's always the best appreciation there is!


Day 3
I'm thankful for author Ralph Fletcher's Writing with Purpose conference, which required me to revisit a happy memory:

Sometimes I remember
the good old days.

Loading up the red Escort
with the yellow donut, Coppertone, and the cooler,

driving to Sandy Beach

and lugging our gear to the shore.

My hair in a bun,
Mom slathered on the sunscreen.

Making sand castles, floating in the lake,
and buying snacks at the shack.

I still can't imagine
anything better than that.


Day 4
So grateful for phenomenal music!! It speaks to the soul!


Day 5
I'm thankful for my dad, whose birthday is today. Despite incredible odds, he's done very well for himself and done the best he could for me.


Day 6
I am thankful I have the right to vote, among a multitude of privileges not bestowed upon women in other countries.


Day 7
Today, I'm grateful for much-needed drinks & laughter with a good friend.


Day 8
I'm so lucky to have a man in my life who asks questions like, "How could I have better said that?" Seriously appreciate the time and effort he puts into communicating with me and teaching me to be a better person as well! #endgush


Day 9
I'm thankful I'll get to experience some true fall weather tonight and tomorrow...right here in Chandler! Finally!!


Day 10
I'm grateful for the survivors of the Holocaust who continue to share their stories with the world in an effort to teach love, respect, and tolerance. I was fortunate to hear Oskar Knoblauch's story today.


Day 11
I'm thankful for all the men and women veterans--past, present, and future!


Day 13
I'm so thankful for this temperamental-ball-of-fur. Boo Radley has lived in NINE different homes with me, endured a cross-country road trip, and put up with my erratic schedule for the last 11 years. He's my baby, my Boo-Bear, my Moo-Goo, my Booregard, my Boojangles, my Boozer, my Boogles, my Boo. ♥


Day 14
I'm thankful my principal dropped off a Dr Pepper for me "just because" today! On days when it's hard to find a reason to be a teacher when we're facing extreme budget cuts, it's good to remember that I'm fortunate enough to have great administrators.


Day 15
I'm thankful for the genuine kindnesses of others: a cookout lunch, a movie ticket to Breaking Dawn, paid conference fees, unnecessary notes of gratitude ...


Day 16
I'm so grateful for B O O K S!!


Day 17
I am thankful for lazy, lazy days.


Day 18
I'm thankful for my sister, Sarah, and her witty (aka biting) sense of humor.
Me: "Find out what Mom wants for Christmas."
Sarah: "She said slippers."
Me: "That's lame. P.S. I already bought her slippers."
Sarah: "P.S. Apparently she doesn't like them."


Day 19
Every day, but especially today, I'm thankful for Randle. A year ago today he took me out on our first date. My life is infinitely better with him in it!


Day 20
I'm grateful for the knowledge I gained today. 1) Becky has the world's best apple pie recipe. 2) Apple seeds contain cyanide, so, you shouldn't eat them...anymore... 3) If you hit Becky with flour, she'll hit you back worse. :)


Days 21-25
I'm thankful for long weekends to rejuvenate the soul; the welcoming by others to partake in their Thanksgiving traditions; restaurants that continue to provide a nostalgic dining experience, when "going out to dinner" was an event, not a five-minute drive-through; movies--fantastic, fabulous films; and my first hot air balloon ride (even though our captain wasn't the Wizard of Oz, the movie is now on TV, and that can't be a coincidence!!).


Day 26
I'm grateful for the hilarious moments in class...
Me: "Students, in what situations might you use low-key lighting?"
Student: "In a whore house."
Me: "Uh, you mean HORROR house."
Student: "Yup--a whore house."
Me: "Okay, let's work on pronunciation..."


Day 27
I'm grateful for toddlers. Yup, those miniature people who have their own baby-babble, chubby cheeks, and temper-tantrums. There's nothing like listening to a kiddo try out new words and giggle like silly. Thanks for making my day, Emma Lou!


Days 28, 29 & 30
I'm thankful for my brother Daniel. He is one of the funniest people I know and I can't imagine life without my baby bro.
I'm grateful for my students. They allow me to experience being a pseudo-parent every day.
I'm thankful for moments of pure happiness that bring tears to your eyes. Of all the gifts we can receive this time of year, genuine happiness is chief among them.

Places You'd Like to Visit

Ahh, vacation. How I love thee. Here are a few places I desperately want to see...

1. Machu Picchu: I can't imagine a more intriguing place to visit. Unless Atlantis is for real...
2. Italy: I've always wanted to see Venice ever since I saw the movie Only You.
3. Egypt: Ancient Egypt fascinates me! I love learning about the pyramids, pharaohs, hieroglyphics, etc.
4. New Zealand: I once had a plan to study in New Zealand for a semester. That never happened.
5. Ireland: Truth is, I want to run into Bono!
6. England: Another semester abroad I never achieved.
7. France: Who doesn't want to visit France? Oh, and Johnny Depp lives there...
8. Washington State: Twilight-induced.
9. North Carolina: I haven't spent much time on the Southeast Coast.
10. Germany: I want to visit the Holocaust memorials/museums.

Leaders You Are Inspired By

"Leader" and "inspiration" seem to go hand-in-hand. What's a leader who isn't inspiring? And if one is an inspiration, then is he/she not a leader if some way? Of course.

Rosa Parks--She was tired on the bus that day--that's why she didn't move. And I admire the fact that she never kept that a secret.
Martin Luther King, Jr.--A wise man of peace. So much to learn from him.
Nelson Mandela--Talk about a man of integrity.
Rep. Gordon Hintz--He convinces me that there are politicians who CARE!
Mary Daly--An amazing feminist and author.
Bono--His dedication to causes stretches over decades and has never been a publicity stunt.
Ryan Milbrath--He's practically perfect in every way. (It's kind-of sickening.) His writing, teaching, and general intelligence astounds me.
Deborah Ellis--A writer who exposes the atrocities of Third World countries.
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton--Stoic, articulate, and grounded.
Gloria Steinem--Another woman of courage.

Things Beyond My Grasp of Understanding

I'm not a fan of this list topic what-so-ever. Probably because I have a hard time not being good great at anything I attempt to do or learn. This could account for why I quit cheerleading after my freshman year. (Or it was the anxiety... probably both.) So, making a list of things I can't understand sounded positively dreadful to me. I rebelled by listing only nine things, instead of the mandated ten. And you won't find any links in this post. (Like I'd want you to research the topic and actually know more about it than ME!)

1. Geometry. O, how I loathe this subject. Thank God Mr. Teska passed me with a D for "determined", though he probably intended the D to stand for "dumb".
2. Men & the Maid of Honor Curse. I took a dating-personality test once and it told me I'm the "Maid of Honor"--literally and figuratively. This is the woman men want to marry, for she is nearly perfect in every way (ala Mary Poppins), but she ends up being perpetually single (ala Mary Poppins). Oh my God...I just realized...I'm MARY FRICKIN' POPPINS!!!!
3. Mental Illness. The cruelest joke nature ever played. Nearly impossible to "fix" and so incredibly misunderstood by so many.
4. Mortgages, Investments, Loans, etc. How do people learn about this stuff? Do your parents sit you down and explain it? Did I miss this course in college? Totally clueless in Arizona.
5. Philosophy. Is this a chair because it's a chair? or because I call it a chair? Who cares. It's a chair! By the time I unravel the written mess you've created, I've forgotten the question.
6. Religion. I'm curious, shocked, and puzzled all at once.
7. The Holocaust. As best as one can who hasn't experienced something first-hand: I know what happened; I know why it happened. I still can't understand how it happened.
8. 'isms. Racism, sexism, homophobic-ism (okay, I made that last one up, but it needed to fit-in with the rest of the "isms"--pun intended.)
9. Morning People. WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!

Books That Made Me Cry

I cringed when I saw the list topic. "List books that made you cry." Really? Can't I have an....easier topic? Well, here's why I balked: I didn't think I could do it! And if I couldn't list ten books that made rivers run down my cheeks, what kind of avid-reading-language-arts-teacher would I be?! The irony is that I'm a total bawl-baby; I weep just thinking sad thoughts. I sobbed through the last half of Titanic and the entire half-hour drive home! But sad sob stories in books just don't do it for me... Imagine my surprise when I did, indeed, list ten reads that made me misty. *sniff, sniff* In fact, I threw in another five just to prove I AM a book-lover!

1. Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls. I remember next to nothing about this book except for this amazing friendship between a boy and his two dogs. Oh, and the fact that I cried big crocodile tears toward the end.
2. The Pact by Jodi Picoult. I read this book during Spring Break of 2007. I was broken-hearted, and maybe that added to the pain of this story, but I vividly recall sobbing throughout parts of this.
3. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. Note to Self: Do not read break-up stories when suffering your own break-up! As depressing as it was, Meyer captured Bella's pain perfectly.
4. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. The oppression and abuse torture of women in this book is almost unbearable, but it is a heartwarming story in its own way. It's one of my all-time favorites.
5. PostSecret by Frank Warren. I've been fascinated with Warren's books and postcard blog for the past six years. I was starstruck when I met him at Changing Hands Bookstore in the fall of 2007. The first book he published contains a postcard of a flower with missing petals. I loved the secret and completely identified with it. The postcard inspired a priceless artwork I created for a literature course. I lost the piece... :(
6. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne. Any book related to the Holocaust can bring me to tears, and this fictional story was no exception. My heart literally hurt when I finished this story. Note: The movie doesn't do the book justice.
7. I Am Not Your Victim: Anatomy of Domestic Violence by Beth Sipe and Evelyn J. Hall. This book was required reading for a college course I took titled Domestic Violence. One of the best courses of my college career, though also the most exhausting. Sipe's book is her own story of survival, but the journey to "survivor" was horrific.
8. Survival by Magda Herzberger. Herzberger's account of surviving several death camps during the Holocaust is rich with vivid details. Her spirit is just...incredible. Knowing Magda personally and having her speak at my school twice has been one of the most amazing experiences. I'm so fortunate to have met her!
9. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. There are a few moments in this book that pull at one's heartstrings, but there's one part, in particular, that just takes one's breath away.
10. I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak. Another one of my all-time favorite books! I just LOVE this book! So touching...
11. A Child Called "It" by Dave Pelzer. I read this book in one sitting and cried my eyes out.
12. Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs (aka Linda Brent). I've read this book several times and I even wrote part of my English thesis paper on it. It's heartbreaking that Jacobs was forced to live in a garret (i.e. crawlspace) for years to escape slavery and torture.
13. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson. Excellent book and one of my favorites as a kid. The friendship between Jess and Leslie is unforgettable.
14. The Pigman by Paul Zindel. I couldn't help but think of Stella, an elderly woman I delivered prescriptions to in high school, or my grandpa, who doesn't have any "friends" to my knowledge, while I read this book. Another of my favorites as a kid.
15. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. The movie doesn't do this book justice, and it's almost difficult to follow the movie if you haven't read the book. This story stayed with me long after I closed the book.

List One: Goals for the New Year

I love bookstores. Yes, of course, I love them for the books, and the coffee, and the peace and quiet (unless you're there during the holiday season or situated next to the children's books), but I also adore them because they house so many other incredible finds. Like calendars. It is vital that I carry a weekly calendar with me at all times. I once attempted to use this feature on my BlackBerry, which turned out to be a total disaster. Not that I couldn't program it properly, mind you. But I need to have a calendar I can open up and actually see the "big picture", ya know? Otherwise, I can't wrap my mind around everything.

So it happened in August that I was browsing through Barnes & Noble and discovered the most fun calendar ever. (Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to shop for calendars in August, and yes, they can be fun!) Chronicle Books publishes a variety of listographies--everything from friends, music, and love to everyday life. I picked up Listography, a weekly calendar with a new list topic for each week. I genuinely like making lists. They help me stay organized; they're not time-consuming; I enjoy checking-off my accomplishments; and I like visual aids. See? I just made a list about why I like lists! Truth be told, I was slacking in journal writing and I thought this was one writing commitment I could keep. But we shall see...  On to List One!

My Goals for the New Year

1. Delete MySpace. (Before you roll your eyes at me for not having done so YET, I haven't had the time! This process will require transferring many photos, leading to a complete photo-organization project, and, well, it's a lot of work.)
2. Schedule a make-up consultation. (I always wanted to do this! Thanks to Aleta T. and Emily A., I've nearly accomplished this one.)
3. Get biking. (The best I ever felt was when I was biking 5-7 days a week. I actually really looked forward to biking then, but there was great scenery to be had back in WI. I'm hoping to find that motivation again, but I don't need you to remind me that this is my goal, thank you very much.)
4. Maintain consistent classroom management. (Constant--no pun intended--struggle for me. Second chances lead to third chances, and I just need to put my foot down.)
5. Keep up with E-Listography. (Seriously, if I didn't add it to the list, who knows what would happen to this thing.)
6. Work on patience. (Just a little patience...yeaaaaah, yeah....)
7. Improve punctuality. (On-going battle. Hate it. I was born two weeks late, so I'm pretty sure it's all my mother's fault.)
8. Improve positivity. (I'm positive this will make me want to gag from time to time.)
9. Read more books. (Really! I haven't been reading as much as I normally do. It's quite the problem.)
10. Find love. (Honestly, I'm ready to mix up Love Potion #9 here...I'm sick of waiting!!!!! Damn...I just broke Rule #6...)